I should not have gone to the college i did. I chose to go to this college, no one forced me. I was not a “legacy” at the school I attended. Most of the reasons I chose the school I did included knowing it would be a wild place. I had a few reasons for going where I did. I wanted to go to a school that had a great college football game day experience, I wanted to go a school in state that I could use my in state scholarships, and I wanted it to be far away from where I grew up. I had an intense desire to go blaze a trail for myself.

At this point in life, things were not going well at home. My relationship with my parents was not good. They were fighting a lot at home, and I never felt I could live up to my dads expectations. Instead of striving to live up, I withdrew from his criticism to the shadows. I learned to show my best face around my parents while really leading a secret life outside of there vision. I felt the things I enjoyed and was into were nothing like the things I was supposed to enjoy in my parents eyes. To my dad, I was supposed to be an adult at 15. This included getting a job, making good grades, and looking like a professional. This did not include prioritizing friendships, sleeping in on Saturday’s, and any self discovery.

I was really ready to get out from under this shadow. I got accepted into the largest most prestigious school in the state. I did not attend because I thought it may require more studying than I was ready to do, and my sister went there. I was also dying to get out from under her shadow. I was dying to no longer be compared to her academically. In hindsight, staying as close to her coat tails for as long as possible would have been a great thing for me. She is an amazing person who has stayed faithful to God and worked hard in life and is enjoying an abundant life.

So, I wanted to get out from under any shadows that I felt were preventing me from achieving happiness, I didn’t want to go an academically rigorous school, I wanted to be able to cheer on a big time football program, and I wanted to be able to sin freely. For my desires at the time…I chose the perfect place. The truth is at this time I got exactly what I thought I wanted out of my college. I found the people who had the best weed quickly, I was not tested academically, and I had a completely clean slate to reinvent myself. I say this to say, it wasn’t my parents divorce that drove me to sin, it wasn’t the people around me, and it wasn’t something I had to do.

It was me.

It was all me. I drove my self into a hypothetical ditch because I felt like my parents were preventing me from experiencing all the fun that was out there. I wanted to experience this fun because I had lost faith that God was in control of my life. God was distant to me, bc of my sin. I did not blame myself for this. I blamed Him. I really just wanted an excuse to pursue my flesh. That’s exactly what I did.

Hindsight is 20/20, but I needed Christian mentorship during this time in my life. I needed positive influences to keep me between the lines as I dealt with my mom calling me crying weekly. I needed people to point me toward Christ, instead of toward instant gratification and self pleasure. Surrounding myself with people who pursued Christ was the thing I needed most at this time. It should have been my top priority over everything. It was clearly not.

I chose the wrong college.

-Millennial Sinner


Black Friday/Societal Norms

Go Go Go, Get the things we want…but do not need.

Go Go Go, you did not want to pay full price…but they will take ten dollars off the price today. So of course you should buy it.

There actually isn’t anything wrong with shopping on Black Friday. There isn’t anything wrong with enjoying the rush of getting in the crowd and racing to get what you want. This isn’t automatically sinful at all.

It is interesting though how societal norms dictate our mindset and behavior. Think about it, millions will go buy gifts for others and themselves tomorrow simply because they can save a few dollars. They will also shop the day after Thanksgiving because millions of others have decided the day after thanksgiving is the day to go shop. There isn’t anything wrong with Black Friday shopping, but millions will Black Friday shop simply bc millions of others are doing it. Society has deemed this the normal thing to do after Thanksgiving.

I think of some of the more harmful things that we almost automatically do that have become societal norms. Sometimes I consider the things I used to do and honestly I am disgusted with myself. I think “what was I thinking”, “how could that have that seemed okay to me”. The answer is because I was not connected to the vine that is described in John 15. I was not abiding in the Him, so my moral compass for what was right and wrong was dictated by societal norms. This is an extremely dangerous place to be for a millennial. My parents would love to teach me pitfalls to avoid, but they are not even aware of the half of them! Without abiding in Jesus, it is almost impossible to not get tangled into sin these days. Sin is on tv, sin is on smart phones, sin is at public school, sin is in the home at the family desk top computer. Sin has more than just crept in, it has taken over almost every area of life that humans live in. Sin is no longer the bad things that bad people do, it is THE SOCIETAL NORM!

I went with the flow of society after my parents divorce. The root of this was my faith was not really my own in my late teen years. My faith was my families and then when that seemed to shatter, my walk with Jesus seemed to shatter. In reality, I had built my house upon the sand. I built my house on the sand and when the storm came I followed societal norms. I followed whoever accepted me in my time of need. I followed the path of instant gratification. I was in a dangerous place. I did not come out unscathed.

Millennials, be weary of just following the pattern of the world around us. They are not headed where we are supposed to be headed. They are living for their own pleasure and they are headed straight to eternal doom. If we do not build our house on the rock, recognize the dangers of blindly following pop culture, and do not make a conscience effort to abide in Jesus…we will be led astray. Everyday is an opportunity for the devil to get us to follow after our own desires.

Let’s recognize the tools the devil uses to pull us astray. Let’s abide in Jesus and live set apart like the Royal Priesthood we are told we are. Let’s build our homes on the rock. Let’s prepare for the storm.

-Millennial Sinner