What is there to say when you were taught what is correct, but you assumed you could return to it at a later date?
What can be said when you said with your lips as a teenager that you wanted to follow God, but you also wanted indulge in all the 21st century has to offer?
Can you flip a switch and say you are ready to return to God on your terms? Will He be there waiting with open arms like you assumed?
I am sure He is there waiting with open arms. The Bible teaches us He loves to rejoice over the return of a found sheep, and He throws a feast with the fattest calf for the Prodigal that returns home.
The issue is not with God. I believe He has not moved. He is sitting on his throne where He was when we decided we needed to go see what the 21st century has to offer.
I remember the decision making process well. I would commit the sins that I assumed would not stain me permanently. I would not smoke cigarettes with my friends, but I would dip on the golf course. I would not drink liquor alone, but I would chug beer at parties. I would not do hard drugs in college at parties, but I would smoke weed with my friends when I had no responsibilities. I would not have sex with my girlfriend, but I would happily receive oral sex…and even return the favor when she insisted.
At 18, heading into the den of sin some call college…I felt fully equipped to successfully keep half of me untarnished while the other half was free to explore all the “fun” I had never experienced. I remember growing up “under the thumb” and always feeling like there was so much “fun” I was missing out on. I was eager to go see what I had been missing.
I had no idea I was marching to my death. I had no idea the sin that began to entangle me was changing my perspective. I was no longer 50/50 on the fence. I was now a full time sinner that could remember how to clean up and play the part at church.
Can I return?
This blog will explore the psychology that led me to my undeniable status of “prodigal”.
I believe you may find yourself somewhere in these pages at times. I do not believe my story is also unique for a millennial who grew up in church, while also living in a sinful world.
I have suffered for my sin. I want to return to the Lord. My hope for this blog is to encourage other prodigals like me, while potentially preventing a few people from slipping into the pit falls I fell into.
Thank you for joining me,